Beginning of the End

I have a slightly obsessive personality. By this, I don't mean I actively stalk people, nor have I ever been medically diagnosed. I use the term "obsessive personality" loosely, and it isn't meant to offend or down play those who have been diagnosed by their physicians. 

By obsessive personality, I mean, I overthink, and over-analyze everything. Every. Thing. 

While I did not spend any more time crying over Steven, I did spend time wondering what I'd done; how he could have so easily left me without hesitation. One day, Steven and I are planning our future, and making plans for me to take time off this summer to spend a week with him out west, and the next: he's not happy. And I mean this literally. Literally, from one day to the next. 

The day before he broke up with me, Steven had asked that I request a week off of Summer Camp, so that I could spend more than 24 hours with him at a time. I'd teased him about that last line. It seemed like after our first date, which lasted about 4 hours, less than 24 hour dates had become our thing.

*****

Date 2: 

Steven and I have been "in a relationship" for a month. The week of Valentine's Day he'd promised to come visit, even though, "now really isn't the best time". He's so charming, isn't he?

I had to work the Friday he planned to come into town, because my co-worker and I were hosting a Valentine's Day dinner for our students. I invited Steven to come by, eat, and spend time with me while I worked, and then we could spend time together. Just the two of us. Valentine's Day was Saturday, anyway, and I'd already set aside that day to spend it's entirety with him.

8: 48 pm 

The Friday "Family Valentine's Dinner" is nearly over and Steven still hasn't dropped in. I begin to worry, and, finally, get a chance to check my phone.

7:32 pm 

I'm taking a nap in the HEB parking lot. Let me know when you're finished. Love you.

What?! I've been waiting for him this whole time, and he's taking a nap!? 

8:50 pm 

So... you aren't coming to the Valentine's dinner?

8:55 p.m.

I didn't know you wanted me to come by. What's the address?

At the risk of causing a fight, I text back the address and he shows up a half hour later. He hangs out in the lobby, while Kat and I finish cleaning up and saying good-bye to the families, thanking them for coming.

Steven follows me home, and we hang out in the street. Under the stars. Very romantic, I know. 

Then, he gets overwhelmingly tired, and sits in his truck while I stand outside his door, trying to make plans for tomorrow. 

Steven decides he should head home. He just bought a bunch of new tile "for our place", and should "really head home and get to work". 

Half an hour, and a mini-spat later, Steven heads out of town, and I'm left with no plans for Valentine's Day.

Date 2: Less than 24 hours. 

*****

Now that I've spent the last week replaying our conversations and our interactions, I think about this night and pick apart every. piece. 

Looking back on that night, I can't help but laugh. This is the night everything changed. This was the beginning of the end.